It’s not an unrealistic expectation to think that the people who are closest to you will support you when you publish a book, whether traditionally or through self-publishing avenues.
Image by Enrique Meseguer
Unfortunately, though, there is an odd phenomenon that nobody ever tells you about before you publish. To put it bluntly, the majority of your friends and relatives will flake on you. What I mean by that is they will take a copy of your book–they might even read it–they’ll congratulate you, tell you how excited they are for you, tell you they hope it will be a huge success, but when you ask them to review it or rate it on Amazon, they will behave as if you’re asking them to drink poison or stick pins in their eyes. Most conversations follow this template:
You: What did you think of my novel?
Friend: Oh I thought it was wonderful!
You: Great, did you leave a review?
Friend: No
You: Did you rate it?
Friend: No
You: Did you recommend it to a friend?
Friend: No, none of those things. But I sure hope it becomes a bestseller!
Trust me, you’re not the crazy one–but eventually you’ll start wondering if you are. Nobody knows why people do this, but it happens to a substantial majority of new authors. The very people you think are your core group of supporters will have one excuse after another why they couldn’t bother to read your book, or God forbid go to Amazon and poke five stars for you. I remember telling a fellow author one time that I could make an entire list of people who would be willing to drive an hour to pick me up if my car broke down on the freeway, but wouldn't take eight seconds of their life to log into Amazon and hit five stars for my novel.
It’s probably silly to be talking about it when I don’t have the solution. I guess I just feel the occasional urge to warn fellow writers that they will run up against this time and again. It feels discouraging. That’s because it IS discouraging. You know that you would do the same for them in a heartbeat, so why won’t they do it for you? All I can say is don’t let it demoralize you, don’t dwell on it, and above all, don’t try to figure it out, because all you will do is give yourself a migraine. However, it may be a mental boost to know that you are not alone in that scenario. It happens to virtually all of us, so rest in the knowledge that there are many people out here who know exactly how you feel.
Don’t think about it, just know your worth, remind yourself of your worth, and remember the people who did support you and let them know just how special they are.